Posted by: A Mom w/Fears | February 12, 2008

Everyone should have a living will…

Here’s Mine!

Living Will

I, the VERY TIRED Steph, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn’t pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.  Nor in the hands of lawyers/doctors who are interested simply in running up the bills, and lining their pockets.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:   Cosmopolitan, shot of Tequila, Liquid Cocaine (it’s a drink), shrimp, steak, Mongolian BBQ, my laptop, piece of cheesecake, a box of Oreo’s, a 3 Musketeer’s candy bar, or even sex…it should be presumed that I won’t ever get better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. 

At this point, it is time to call a New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.

Signature: ___________________________

Date: ___________________________

 

I also hear that in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub.  The patients are happier and they have a lot more visitors.

For now, until that day…I’ll settle for the ole-stand-by…

 Chill Pill

 

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Responses

  1. OMG, I’m printing that out and USING IT! 😉

  2. OMG
    nice mama
    real nice

    remind me that when I’m a millionaire to send you to that home in Ireland even though I planned on taking care of you myself while you lived in my mansion with me and the rest of my family
    …. but no …. I will let you stay there, happy LOL

  3. Makes me wanna do my living will like this! You know I will take care of you! You don’t need a PUB! LOL


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