Posted by: A Mom w/Fears | October 25, 2008

I’ve decided…

I’ve been so happy for BabyAm the past 36 hours that I have been rolling over and over in my head how to explain each and every event that’s happened.  Because I so want to share with all of you.   But I have thought alot about it and have decided that less is more in this case. 

In order to really help you all understand why we’ve let the events of the last two days happen, you’d have to honestly live in our house, in the midst of dysfunction, and in the hell we’re climing out of…surrounding one boy.  Yes, Liar Liar.   The thing is, to be fair, we really think he’s got more wrong with him (mentally) than meets the eye…things he might not even be aware of.   So in addition to being angry at him for watching him mentally batter our daughter, we all feel sorry for him because he just seems to not know any better. *sigh*

So, we have been telling BabyAm that until she closes the door (obviously) to him, no one will be able to walk in and show her what it should be like.   She closed the door (obviously) this last week.   And lo, and behold…out of nowhere entered Belt Buckle.   She didn’t know him.  Never had met him.  He is a friend of a friend and they were introduced.  

Now we have our suspicions, we think he might have noticed her long before this week…but whatever the case is.   He entered.  This helps take BabyAm’s mind off Liar Liar.  That is a good thing.  Nothing has been able to do that for months.  So this is a blessing, to us anyway.

If you know BabyAm, you know that she attracts drama like flypaper attracts flies.  There has been no real drama for about 10 days.   It’s been wonderful!  We’ve had one or two rough days, but mostly because Liar Liar has found a way to get to her, and she didn’t know what to do with it, so she was very angry (at everyone).   She doesn’t want to hear about him, see him, or have anything to do with him…not everyone gets that yet.

She has spent alot of time with Belt Buckle in the past 2 days.  Some of it (time) with friends, some of it his family, some of it with us, and very little time alone with him.  But she is very deserving of the freedom she was given.  And trust is earned, she’s trying to earn her trust back. 

I have not seen BabyAm this happy in MONTHS.   And she has been herself 100%, because she didn’t have to be someone she’s not…he didn’t know her before, so he’s getting nothing but BabyAm.  

  • Is he her knight in shining armour?  I don’t know.  I do know you have to kiss alot of frogs to find your prince charming though, right?  I say white horses and castles sound fun!
  • Is this all happening too quickly?   It’s highschool, nothing would surprise me.  
  • Are we crazy for letting her do this?   Absolutely not, this is a friendship that is growing, it seems to be growing correctly, honestly and with our permission.  Those three things make all the difference in the world, in our book. 
  • Is she falling for this guy hard?  No, I don’t think so…I think she is just excited to see what it’s like to have someone be a gentleman, to have someone respect her space, to have a conversation with a guy (other than her Dad) and be able to believe EVERY.SINGLE.WORD that is coming out of his mouth.  

She is taking the opportunity to get to know someone OUTSIDE of her circle (that she’s been trying to get out of).  He doesn’t even know any of her girlfriends.  They don’t have any classes together.  He appeared out of nowhere.  

We are happy for her.  We like Belt Buckle.  We will help her to take it slow, and enjoy the moment.Life is too short, to not live in the moment.  We parent so differently than alot of others do.   But we’ve never been parents before, so we do what works best for our family.   Sometimes we fly by the seat of our pants and pray.

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Responses

  1. I’m not guna lie. It’s pretty amazing having a guy treat me like I’m a princess. I’m glad there’s nothing to be ashamed of and he’s been approved by the appropriate people too 🙂

  2. Keep it up, Am. Let him be a gentleman, and act like a lady. As a matter of fact, demand that he treat you like a lady. Like your mom said, go slow. Occasionally stay home instead of seeing him. You will have plenty of time to see/be with him. Like my mom always told me, You have to be friends before you can be anything else.

    I’m happy that you are happy. Keep up the honesty with your parents-believe me, it goes a loooooong way. And, in the end, it will buy you the freedom that teenagers crave.

  3. WOW- I remember them days so well. I always seemed to fall for the ones that treated me like poop and well sounded just like “Liar Liar” it is a hard cycle to get out of but HOORAY for her!!
    Yeah for Mom & Dad too…ugh, I dont even like to think what you have been going through…I SOO feel your pain!

  4. Good for you Am! Take it slow, be yourself, and have fun. No rushing things! You are important, and SPECIAL!!! Don’t forget it!

  5. Thank you guys!!
    I’m very happy and it’s amazing to know that just when I thought I’d never feel good about life there’s always something that brings me back up 🙂 He’s so sweet and I’m glad that there are other people who are happy for me right now because I could use all the support right now 🙂 This new relationship will definitly be my “doing things right” by going slow and and I hope it pays off because he’s wonderful!!


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